


Heart by heart

by alphano



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-23 17:32:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphano/pseuds/alphano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is faced with the tough realization, that the love of his life had died. But even though his friends try to help him, all he can do, is remember how he fell in love with Derek and how their relationship progressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by the beautiful song, made by Demi Lovato - Heart by heart. You can listen to it [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBS95dG5sYM#at=60) and I hope you listen to it while reading this work. Sorry for killing Derek though!

Stiles was broken. There was no other way to describe it. He just couldn’t function anymore, he had no idea what he was even doing for the past three days since... Since the news hit. All he could remember from the moment he found out was excruciating pain in his chest, his phone falling to the floor, himself sliding after it moments after it, and everything after that was just more pain, nothing else. This was the first time after the news that he was somewhat composed enough. He had no idea where Cora went, no one had seen her ever since. And even Peter wouldn’t talk to no one, he just locked himself up into his room. Stiles on the other hand had company, more than he wished for. There was Scott, that never left his side, Isaac, that barely ever let Scott’s side now and where those two were was also Alison. Even Lydia was there for the majority of time, but he wanted only one person. And now he was gone...

He could feel Scott’s hand on his shoulder, knowing that Scott was trying to take away his pain, but this pain wasn’t physical, so Stiles was left with a whole lot of pain and no one that was able to comfort him. He couldn’t believe they have just buried him and now he was standing over an open grave, looking at the casket, aware of the fact, that he would never again hear the smile of the person, that was lying in there. Stiles was no stranger to funerals, after all he had to bury his mother, when he was just a kid, but this time around was so, so much harder.

“Stiles... Let’s get you home,” Scott said to him, the only one left there with him, but in response Stiles said nothing, he just sat to the ground, wanting nothing more than to join the body lying in that casket. Scott gave out a sigh behind him and decided to wait with him for as long as Stiles needed. But Stiles had no intention on moving anywhere, he just wanted to be there, as close to him as he now could be. There was no way he’d get his hugs anymore, no way to hear his laughter or annoyance with him, when Stiles just wouldn’t shut up. Oh the irony in that, because now he just couldn’t speak. Not when _his_ light has been extinguished. 

“Stiles, it’s getting dark, you really should go home,” Scott tried again after a few hours, but Stiles still didn’t budge. He just wanted to die, because there was nothing else for him to live for now. And he most of all didn’t want to feel the pain burdening up inside of him. That was when Peter showed up and hit him in the head so hard, Stiles passed out.

 

 

**. i I SIX MONTHS EARLIER I i .**

“I need you to come with me,” said a voice from behind of Stiles with a growl, which made Stiles fall out of his chair. OK by now he should be used to Derek creeping up into his bedroom and scare the shit out of him, but he just wasn’t. Not to mention the fact that the alpha usually came with his brooding mood and snarls and growls that he reserved especially for Stiles.

“You could always walk to the front door, ring the bell and umm I don’t know, enter like a real person?” Yes, that was the reply he was giving one of the alphas currently residing in Beacon hills. To anyone else, that would be a remarkable feat, but Stiles always was a bit mouthy and he was involved into enough wolf stuff and saved their asses - and what remarkable asses some of the werewolves possesed - to allow himself to be mouthy. Especially around Derek Hale. Who once pretended to be his cousin Miguel in front of Danny. And hated Stiles’ guts. But Stiles was still the first person Derek went to, so he decided a long time ago, that Derek actually liked him in his brooding wolfy kind of way and so Stiles allowed himself to be mouthy. Not that he wasn’t mouthy to Derek since the day Scott was turned.

And of course he got no response from the Alpha standing next to his window. Well not unless you counted the mighty Derek Hale stare, that he was just receiving. “OK, OK, I am going with you, easy with the stare. What happened now? Some new supernatural crysis going on? And why am I always involved? I am a human you know. And it’s not like I’m in your pack. Can humans even be pack?” During his ramble and the process of picking himself from the floor (yes, yes, very awkward and unfortunate of him to need so much time to pick himself up, but to be fair, Derek Hale was just in his room) he didn’t even notice that Derek moved to him and that’s where the surprise of him covering Stiles’ mouth with his hand came.

“Shut up, you’ll wake up your father,” Mr. Grumpypants told him with another growl accompanying that words. Stiles nodded, but after the said Mr. Grumpypants left go of him, there was a weird tingling in Stiles, like he wanted for Derek’s fingers to linger on his lips longer and for Derek to be in his personal space all the time. But he quickly needed to get rid of those feelings, because Derek Hale was just another Lydia Martin - out of reach and completely oblivious to Stiles’ existence except in cases like this, when Derek obviously needed him. That also explained the wolf going as far from him in that very small room as soon as he let go of Stiles, because he was certain werewolves could smell small things like Stiles’ weird notions. Not that Derek paid that much attention to him.

So before he knew it he was in Derek’s Camaro, his fucking Camaro, that he worshiped beyond anything else! It was weird, because Peter always wanted to steal that car and Derek even got into a fight with him over it once, a real, full blown, alpha fight, but now Derek was just letting Stiles ride in it instead of taking his jeep as usual. “Are you going to...” he started to ask but was cut off immediately by Derek’s “Shut up.” So he did. Shut up. And started messing with the radio. That’s when Derek grabbed his hand, but then let go of it at once, seemingly surprised at himself. “Just don’t touch the stereo,” was all Stiles got, but that didn’t matter, because something entirely else was going through his mind - Derek freaking Hale touched his hand and it felt so good! Sure, he was once lying on top of Derek, when they were both paralyzed, but this was different and it made something flutter in his stomach. 

OK maybe Stiles had a tiny crush on Derek, but it didn’t matter, not really. He was just there to do the bidding any freaking werewolf threw at him, mostly at night, but not in the sex kind of way, and during the day he would mostly just be Stiles. After all he had a crush on Lydia before and now they were friends, right? Who says the same couldn’t happen for him and Derek. Not that Derek really did friends though...

Because Stiles wasn’t allowed to do anything else in the car, he started tapping his foot and with a loud sigh Derek let it go. Stiles knew, that Derek wanted to say something though, but he let it pass, because everyone in Beacon Hills knew how hard it was to keep Stiles still and silent. So yes, tapping his foot was the best way he could stay quiet and not agitate the Alpha driving the car even more than he usually did.

It wasn’t long before the car stopped though and Stiles was surprised at the location, because it was Derek’s old home - the house in which the majority of Derek’s family died. Stiles knew for a fact that Derek wasn’t there for a long time, but if he had something to show Stiles... Well he was a bit creeped out by now and feeling a bit of fear was never good, since werewolves could sense it and Stiles didn’t like to be scared, especially after all he had gone through. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad,” Derek then said and Stiles gulped down a bit lump, that was forming in his throat. Then he realized Derek actually comforted him, but before he could say something to that, he was following Derek around the house and he was being shown some really weird marks.

He looked with a puzzled expression at Derek and then Derek started to explain: “I was looking around after a long time and found these marks all around the house, but they are barely distinguishable somewhere because... well because of the fire I guess. So they had to be here before it. And I don’t know, I just want to know what they mean.” If there was one thing now, that Stiles was feeling, it was surprise. He never expected something like that, especially not from Derek and most of all he didn’t expect that face. A face, that was full of sorrow and looked so defeated, but at the same time shined with some determination.

“I don’t know what they mean...” Stiles started, but the Derek’s expression made him shut up, because it clearly looked like the man had something else to say. “I know, but I also know, that you have a talent of finding things out. Just please don’t tell anyone, because I don’t want to upset Cora and Peter is... well Peter.” Stiles could never tell anyone, not even Scott, not after he received the puppy eyes from Derek. “Sure.”

Stiles put a hand on Derek’s shoulder after that, because the dude seemed like he could need some comfort and for a while they stood like that. Then Derek moved away and that was when Stiles knew it was time for action. “Can you show me the rest of the marks you have found?” he asked him and Derek nodded. Stiles took out his phone and took a picture of every mark they have found, wondering what everything might mean. But deep inside he was also happy, because Derek chose him to help him. Him and no one else, not even his family, his pack.

Then something unexpected happened. Because the house was left alone for years and no one really trimmed the forest around it, the forest started growing neared the house and in order to get to some marks, Stiles had to climb a bit over bushes and small trees. Doing that, he almost fell once, but Derek caught him and kept him steady for just a moment too long. In that moment Stiles could feel heat radiating from Derek’s fingers, spreading all through his body and filling his heart. And in that very moment Stiles knew, he had fallen for Derek Hale.


	2. Chapter 2

**. i I PRESENT DAY I i .**

He was lying in a bed, that much Stiles knew. He also knew that his head was throbbing with pain, because a certain werewolf knocked him out. And then the pain in his chest returned with an even bigger force than before, because he remembered, what he was doing before being knocked out. He was sitting at Derek’s grave. He was surprised that the pain wasn’t present during his dreams, but they weren’t dreams, not really, just memories. The memories of how he first realized he was in love with Derek. He still was in love with Derek, even though he was just a corpse now, but Stiles still loved him. He still loved his soul that was so warm and thoughtful that didn’t want to upset his sister or his uncle, even though he needed answers. The soul that could light up Stiles’ day in a second, with a smile, just when he warmed himself enough to actually let Stiles know that he cared too. And now that was taken away from Stiles.

But what Stiles wasn’t expecting, when he opened his eyes, was Peter sitting in an armchair next to his bed. The guy looked crushed and Stiles knew why, because Derek had told him. He had told him that no matter how much of a jackass Peter was, he had always cared for Derek. When Peter noticed, that Stiles was awake he stood up and went straight to the door, but he turned before exiting and gave Stiles a sad look. “You can’t waste your life away. He wouldn’t have wanted that. And you are all we have left of him.” With those words Peter turned on his heels and exited Stiles’ room. Only that it wasn’t Stiles’ room. It was their room.

 

 

**. i I FIVE MONTHS EARLIER I i .**

It was one month since Stiles realized just how hard he had fallen for the hottest werewolf in Beacon Hills, but that didn’t mean Derek saw him any differently. The only difference in their relationship was Derek touching Stiles a bit more often. He only saw him touching Cora as much and from all the books and articles he had read, Stiles knew that touching was a wolf thing. He didn’t object to it, because he was happy, that Derek was finally opening up a bit, but he also couldn’t hide his heartbeat speeding up every single time Derek touched him, nor the somersaults his stomach was making.

The touching thing was hard for Derek at first, because when he touched Stiles, he would get this weird, mostly scared, look on his face, and move away, probably because Stiles’ heart was thumping so fiercely in his chest. But after some time it got easier and Stiles was happy for him. Sure, he still wanted to kiss Derek at every opportunity like that, but somehow he accepted the fact, that Derek would never see him like that, he was after all just this annoying kid and Derek was, as mentioned before, the hottest werewolf in Beacon Hills.

The weird thing was also, that Stiles was hanging around Derek’s apartment more and more the last month. First it was because of the marks around the Hale house, but they have figured out, what they meant two weeks ago, yet Stiles couldn’t help but go there every day and Derek didn’t mind. So he found himself walking to that apartment once again and entered without knocking, because the wolf senses allowed Derek to smell and hear him from a distance.

“Hey Derek, I’ve brought food for breakfast!” he called out, but it wasn’t like that was necessary. In fact Derek was by him in seconds, caressing his cheek, which almost made Stiles purr. Yes purr, like a kitten. Oh how he wished, that those strong, yet gentle fingers, would touch his lips. But when the same fingers trailed a path down Stiles’ neck, he didn’t complain at all. No, he could just stand there like that forever, allowing to lose himself in thoughts about lying on Derek’s bed, kissing the Alpha and trailing his fingers all over that body. He may have thought just a month before, that Derek Hale was the new Lydia Martin for him, but the truth was, Derek was above what anyone else could ever be and Stiles knew, that he would be perfectly happy for the rest of his life, if he could just spend it with Derek.

They stood there like that for a couple of minutes, Derek touching him and Stiles enjoying it more than he should, since there would never been anything between them, and then Derek pulled away. “What are we having for breakfast?” was the question for Stiles. In return Stiles smiled and made his way to the small kitchen. “I am making us pancakes.” He could see Derek starting to drool and that just brought out a chuckle out of Stiles. And during all that he ignored how domestic it all was - Derek greeting him at the door, him making them breakfast, hell him coming over in the morning to make them breakfast. He needed to ignore it, because even though it felt so good, there was no way that this dream, that Derek was allowing him to live for a short period of time, could ever become an everyday occurrence. And oh god how much Stiles wished that this could be his life forever.

“You know I think pancakes are a healthy way to start a day. A perfect day to start the day, even. I bet Bruce Wayne has pancakes for breakfast. Though now I feel like Alfred.” Oh yes, Stiles could speak so much even in the morning, but this time around he didn’t hear a sigh from the wolf behind him.

“Though Alfred was a good guy and if I’m alfred, that means you are Bruce Wayne, or should I just say Batman? Should I call you Batman now? Or do you prefer The Big Bad Wolf from the Little Red Riding Hood?” Those words were just to fill the quiet around him, when Stiles was preparing the mixture for pancakes he was about to make them. He could feel the look of the Alpha constantly on him though, which made him even more nervous and make him blab even more. “You know I have nothing against you, but I never liked the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood. And I thought that the movie version would be better, because hello, hot wolves, but no, the movie just had to suck.”

With those words Stiles could feel Derek’s hands on him again, only that this time Derek’s fingers didn’t stop at his neck. Oh no, they continued down Stiles’ spine, until they stopped at his hips. All through that Stiles needed to remind himself to breathe, because it was kind of hard to focus on anything, if Derek was going to do this to him. Plus his heart was beating really fast and Derek stepped even closer to him, so that their bodies were touching now. And oh god, Derek’s fingers were now traveling from his hipbones to his stomach, which made Stiles let out a whine of pleasure and his eyes fluttered shut.

The things that were going through his mind were simple: he wanted to turn around and kiss the man, that was basically hugging him from behind at that moment. He wanted to lose himself in the prettiest eyes he had ever seen and he just wanted to be one with him. He had dreamed of those things for a long time now, hell he even thought of Derek every time he jerked off. And now that he had Derek’s hands on him, he didn’t want him to stop, but at the same time wanted him to stop, because it was probably just scent-marking to the Alpha and Stiles would just end up with a broken heart, because he hoped for too much. After all who with a body like Derek’s would ever like a gangly kid like him?

But Derek didn’t stop, hell he even pulled Stiles closer to himself, so Stiles could feel every muscle pushed against his back and in a moment of weakness he threw his head back onto Derek’s shoulder, because this was all too much for him. The pleasure was overwhelming in itself and his whole body was on fire, but somewhere in the back of his mind something was telling him, that this was too good to be true. There was no way, that a moment like this, a moment Stiles was dreaming about for so long, yet it seemed so much better in reality, was actually happening. All it was missing was...

And then it happened - Derek turned Stiles around with such ease and the two guys were now facing each other, Stiles being completely lost for words for once in his life. “You are perfect,” was all Derek whispered to him before cupping his face with those strong hands and pulling him in for a kiss. It was a gentle kiss, a kiss that could only happen between two people that were totally in love with one another. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t awkward and it was better than Stiles ever dreamed. And it was just so gentle, both kissing the other like they were something so precious, so fragile, they could break at any given moment. But it was so perfect and it warmed Stiles on the inside like nothing else ever did. And it that moment he just knew that Derek was the one he was meant to find, because everything fell into place and all the stars aligned.

Not one of them knew how long they were standing there like that, Stiles didn’t even know when his arms went up around Derek’s neck, he just knew that he was lost. After that there was no going back, because there just couldn’t be anyone else, that could make him feel like that. “I... I hope that was alright...” Derek was the first one to break the silence, because that was the first silence that hadn’t bothered Stiles. He still couldn’t believe any of that was happening, because it was just too perfect. Moreover it was happening with the man of his dreams.

“That was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me,” said Stiles in reply, his face breaking out in an impossibly happy grin and he could see a grin on Derek’s face too. “In fact it was so amazing, I want to do it again...” he said and gave Derek a little peck on the lips, “... and again...” another peck, “.. and again...” which was followed by a laugh from Derek, yes an actual laugh, that made something inside of Stiles so moved, he couldn’t even begin to express it in words, and then Derek kissed him again. And again. And again. And again...


	3. Chapter 3

**. i I PRESENT DAY I i .**

Stiles couldn’t bring himself to get up from bed and Peter’s words hurt so bad, even though they were meant to be kind. No, he just couldn’t deal with the fact, that Derek was dead. He needed him to wrap his arms around him and tell him everything will be OK. Sure, it was Stiles, who was also hyper and cracking all this weird little jokes, but he didn’t know anyone stronger than Derek. He had to go around every day with the grief of burying the majority of his family and then losing Laura too. Stiles couldn’t imagine how Derek dealt with that, especially now, when every fibre of his body was so grief-stricken he didn’t want to go on.

Someone walked into their room again and Stiles growled just like Derek used to, for he just wanted to be left alone, didn’t want anyone disturbing him, while he thought of Derek, at least not until his heart would stop beating for real, because in reality it stopped beating the moment that Derek’s stopped.

This time around it was Lydia, who was disturbing his peace. “Stiles you need to get up and eat something,” she said to him gently, putting a hand on his hand as if to caress him a bit. But as soon as he felt Lydia’s touch there, he jerked violently away. He heard a barely audible sigh, which just pained him even more, because he missed the way Derek would sigh at all his stupid comments and ideas. “Stiles this is no way to go on, even Peter told us to get you to eat something, before he barricaded himself in his room again.”

But he wasn’t listening her anymore. A light bulb had just gone on in his head and he knew that it was his only chance and he needed to know. He jumped out of the bed, actually looking alive for the first time after the news hit him, and bolted through the door, leaving behind a very startled Lydia and passing an even more startled group consisted of Isaac, Scott and Allison. But he didn’t even notice them, he just ran straight through the door, down a flight of stairs until he came to the apartment he was going to. He knew the doors would be unlocked and he wasted no time knocking. He also knew that the door of the bedroom in that apartment would be locked, but he tried anyway. They didn’t budge. So he started hammering on the door.

“Peter! Peter open up! I need to ask you a question!”

 

 

**. i I FOUR MONTHS AND A HALF EARLIER I i .**

Derek and Stiles were now together for two weeks and nothing could make Stiles happier than seeing that goofy smile of Derek’s every day and everytime he saw him. It was just like he was living a fairytale and Derek was his prince, although let’s be honest, Stiles would make one badass princess even though the story was completely wrong, because Derek was a wolf and the only time a wolf was in a fairytale it was in Little Red Riding Hood, but the wolf there was mean and ate Little Red Riding Hood and her grandma and Derek wasn’t like that and Stiles would never ever be Little Red Riding Hood. Although he might have bought a red riding hood and was wearing it right now to piss Derek off a bit. Just because he could. And because Derek was so in love with him Stiles knew he could afford that kind of a joke on him.

“It is your grandchild Little Red Riding Hood, who has brought you a cake and a little pot of butter mother sends you,” Stiles said with a squeaky voice as he was entering Derek’s apartment, again without knocking, only to find Isaac, Scott, Cora and Peter of all people, all gathered there. And of course everyone bursted into laughter immediately, well everyone but Derek that is, who seemed as broody as ever.

“Dude gross,” commented Scott during his chuckles.

“Well I personally think my nephew isn’t a Big Bad Wolf, but if you ever need one, you know where to find me, Little Red _Riding_ hood,” retorted Peter, just to irritate Derek of course, but it was still scary to Stiles, because let’s be honest - Peter was scary. Especially the way he said the word ‘Riding’ and how he was miraculously by Stiles at that time to pinch his cheek.

Of course Derek was quickly next to Stiles too and even without the werewolf senses Stiles could feel the anger pulsing through Derek.

“Everyone out,” were the snappy words, that finally came out of Derek’s mouth and add flashing red eyes to that and every single wolf knew better than to stay there.

But as soon as everyone but Stiles and Derek left the apartment, Stiles found himself pinned to the wall by a very strong and a very sexy werewolf.

“Don’t ever do that again,” said the said werewolf and then Stiles could feel their lips joining and their tongues finally saying hello like they were supposed to as soon as Stiles walked through that door. But that didn’t really matter now, because oh god, kissing Derek Hale was something so heavenly good Stiles thought would never get used to. It was hard to describe how a kiss could be so gentle, yet so forceful and filled with love and lust at the same time, but the pair of them did it somehow and the time didn’t matter. No, all it mattered were the two of them and to hell if they were kissing like that for an hour of a minute (though Stiles very much preferred the one hour option).

“Well not everyone has super-hearing you know. How was I supposed to know that the Breakfast Club was having a session?” Yes, that was Stiles’ retort after a kiss like that. And Derek chuckled. Derek Hale actually chuckled. And that chuckle did things to Stiles - to his brain, to his stomach, to his (now jelly) legs, hell even to his dick. So the natural response of course was to ignite another kiss, a kiss even more perfect than the one before, if that was even possible. And in the middle of the kiss Stiles somehow ended up on Derek’s bed, with the latter actually saying: “I believe that the Big Bad Wolf was in the bed, when Little Red Riding Hood said that line.”

The moment was perfect and Stiles was so at awe with his boyfriend (yes he could actually call Derek Hale, the hottest person, that ever walked the surface of planet Earth, or possibly the entire universe, his boyfriend) when he said those words there were actually no words to express his happiness. And maybe, just maybe, they would finally do it, take their relationship to the next level…

But of course then Peter happened: “Big Bad Wolf reporting for duty. I am supposed to eat the little girl and the grandma, right?”


End file.
